Note from the author: This essay began as a therapy exercise in a residential eating disorder treatment center. For whatever reason, I had sketched my favorite pair of jeans in the middle of a sheet of paper, then filled the white space with words. Here are those words. Our paths…

For the longest time, I didn’t feel comfortable talking about my mental health. I thought that if I played by the rules and didn’t get in anyone’s way, things would eventually work out. The first time I became suicidal was when I was 16. I felt like I was doing…

follow-up to thoughts on 1 year dry When I moved to Seattle just a few days before 2019 began, I was deep into what had been a brief but rapidly escalating relationship with alcohol. I started my days with a cocktail of vodka and Monster energy drink, a concoction I…

It’s Christmas evening and I’m lying on my couch watching Klaus and picking at a salad. Despite being invited by friends to join them in their intimate holiday gathering, I’m feeling a little anxious and have elected to spend the day in the company of my cats and my family…

I stand in front of my cabinet and try to make a decision. I realize that the factors contributing to my ultimate choice are not normal. When most people choose what to have for dinner, they ask themselves the following questions: “Will this taste good?” “Am I hungry for this?” …

“Science should not stand in the way of this.” These are the words that glare at me from my laptop screen at 4:04AM. My jaw has involuntarily dropped. I feel angry. Hopeless. Confused. But not surprised. These words were uttered by White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany after the president…

Lukewarm vodka sloshes in my pink s’well bottle, which never leaves my line of sight. I’m in the passenger seat of my friend’s car, leaning out the window and taking selfies in the dappled afternoon light. The vodka burns my throat as my friend and I discuss the merit of…